Brendan Campbell is an Irish-Anglo amateur website developer, political activist, philosopher, beatnik poet, union member, and international pilgrim.
When Brendan was just a baby, his father would give him a puff from a cigarette and a dram of whiskey everynight before bed. This nightly habit, by some miracle, gave Brendan the ability to understand the works of Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel and James Joyce at the age of 5, but it also gave him multiple bouts of pneumonia, and untreatable alcoholism.
During the height of his career, it is said that Brendan had a vision of God. God told Brendan to leave his family and retreat to an undisclosed island for the rest of his days, fishing for cod and harvesting the crust of the earth, to obtain and analyse the primordial sin substance of Adam (from the time of the fall), in order to decode what inclines us to sin within our DNA. It is also said that while fishing one afternoon, Brendan was romantically attacked by a Selkie. and there are rumours that a half-human, half-selkie was conceived, although this is unconfirmed.
His greatest works include:
- How Time Unravels Backwards
- I Drank Bleach In My Nan's Toilet To Stop The Shakes
- Susendo Momentum
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Yes, he actually ghost-wrote that one)
- If There Are Skidmarks In My Boxers, Where Is The Car?